There’s character in the weathering of the door, it tells a story of its own. Its why were drawn to these things, they’re real, like us.
I decided that this year, I am going to get acquainted with my area and explore the surrounding cities more. So, my husband, Brady and I hopped in the car after church this last Sunday and went on a little adventure. We ended up at the richly Greek cultured city of Tarpon Springs.
In the past, I wouldn’t have seen it, but I was intentionally looking for something that spoke to me.
When we drove by, I knew that it was what I was looking for. It was an abandoned building that was falling apart, but it possessed an immense amount of character.
You begin to see things differently when you choose to focus.
I gasped, “How beautiful is this door?” There’s something about the authenticity of it that gripped my gaze.
I saw it, tattered and aged, and declared that it was a work of art.
Yet, we deem ourselves broken and bruised because of our past. We hide our shame, we bury our hurts and try to cover them up. We make our schedules busier, try to enhance our appearances, attempt to be the perfect wife, mom, friend and the list goes on. Instead of making us feel happier, its crippling us. We might look like we have it all together, but the loneliness from the aching of our hearts is intensifying.
Have you ever faced the deepest hurts of your soul? Have you chosen to forgive those who have cut you to the core of your being? Have you truly forgiven yourself for mistakes that you have made? Have you come to peace with God for the losses in your life that you might never understand?
Until you have done this, mustered up the courage to face the past and conquer it with those words of forgiveness, you cannot heal. You cannot move forward. They will haunt you, never allowing you to be the woman that God created you to be.
You were created to be free, full of joy and a light to the world.
The moment I sat there shaking, with a clenched jaw, hands to my face and a dry throat, I barely breathed out the words, “ I forgive them ”.
It was the moment that I opened the door to my healing.
I didn’t have to say it to anyones face, but God heard me and my heart felt it. I surely didn’t want to say it, but I knew it was what I needed to do. I had a choice: to allow bitterness to set in and overtake my life, or to try and find healing in the hurting.
And I will be the first to tell you, that complete healing can be a journey.
I am that old door: I have known the weathering of seasons, I have faced the rains that tear away at the soul. I had locked myself shut for years, hiding, trying desperately to be strong for myself, when I was honestly terrified of letting anyone in.
But there was day that the sun shone, the lock was turned and I was ready to open myself back up. I finally felt like myself again. I saw the door beneath, the core of who I was and it was more beautiful that I had remembered.
Underneath all of the layers of hurt, depression, anxiety, self-hate, and disappointment or whatever it is that you are dealing with, there is a beautiful you that is waiting for wholeness. Draw near to the Father who desires you.
He says, “There is nothing too broken for me to fix!”
The lies tell us that it’s not true, but indeed it is. Cherish these words, it is your time to find healing under his wings.
“In the shadow of your wing, I will sing for joy.” – Psalm 63:7
There can be beauty where there was brokenness. He turns our darkest hours into monuments of his goodness; Places we can look back and say, He was faithful. He is always faithful.
I urge you to write this down and put it somewhere that you can see it everyday.
“There’s nothing too broken for Him to fix.”
“You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!”– Psalm 30:11-12